Run, Lola, Run!!

Everyone has a demon! .........and some of us are exceptionally lucky and have several!!!  At fifty I was diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.  It has become my demon!! I think had I known my biological father before I turned sixty-one I might have known that I was destined to be a diabetic since Diabetes runs so rampid through his bloodline.  But nevertheless I didn't and I have been battling with it ever since!

You would have thought that my family, grandmothers and mother, would have known this and when I was a child they would not have let me try to eat the world all in one mouthful!!!  I say this as Im sitting here typing and eating a frozen lemon icee cup!! lol But its only 60 calories so I figure it makes a good between meal snack! Actually I have become addicted to them since the last weekend that Sonja was here cause Elizabeth and Andrea bought some and left them!! Its their fault!! But I got to reading the label on the box and when I found out it only had 60 calories in a serving it thrilled me..........

So we can all see now that food is my demon but I am learning to strangle him daily!! Two years ago the Doctor wanted to put me on insulin! I fought him about it.......I couldnt go to insulin! That would have made my daughters death be for nothing!! And I wouldnt allow that! I had to learn from it .........there were no two ways around it!! In the last six months I have neither lost or gained a pound!! Sometimes thats disheartening but knowing at this age how easily weight climbs onto your body and starts building an estate.......I am learning to appreciate the fact! Im ok that Im not loosing as long as Im not gaining!  I walk everyday and somedays are more challenging than others! But I find things to take up the challenge like the selfies I been taking and I learned how to use the free radio on my phone so that helps.......joking around with Dan helps too!! Somedays I teach him how to march like a drum major and salute the judges in competition!! OMG.....its hysterical and I can just see the minds rolling on peoples faces as they pass us in their cars!! They have no clue whats going on and that makes it even funnier!! Some days we climb into the oleanders to see if avocados have ripened and fallen.....and some days we just daydream!!!

In my battles I have learned a lot! Im addicted to bread and rice! Those two items by themselves could slay me in no time.......so I have not given them up like I know I should but I have learned to curb their use!  Today for lunch I was craving a cheeseburger so instead of buns I used lettuce leaves and put everything on it, pickles, tomatoes, and onions! Delicious!!  I try not to cook rice more than twice a week and Im not a big pasta fan so I dont worry about it!

I had a Drs appt on Thurs and then Friday Dan left for a music festival and I told him that since I had three months till my next appt I was going to go the donut house on the hill and get me a big ass donut!! But now Im thinking that ......that is all I wanted, you know, the permission to do it!! Because I completely forgot about it after he left and didnt realize till Saturday afternoon that I had not done it!! It felt really good to know that I dont feel deprived when I allow myself to say.........Yes Lola you can have one big donut!!! Sounds very childish but something inside my brain Im thinkin is still a child!!!  I don't want something half as bad if I can have it!!  I try to cook healthier meals with veggies........I think I could be a vegetarian very easily........lol but it helps also that Dan will eat anything!!

So in my battle I would say the score is about 10-1 my favor!! Oh the little devil still lurks around every corner.........but he needs to pick on someone half my age who thinks they have a lifetime to fix the problem!! I KNOW my time is short......you cant beat my ass!! Not today anyways!!! LMAO!!